10 valuable life lessons I implemented in 2021

2021 was painful, cathartic, messy, hopeful, unnerving, affirming and transformative. It was my year of healing. I was called to integrate and alchemize what had unfolded in my 30 years on Earth. It was intense but necessary. For good measure, my Saturn Return made it extra chaotic because the Universe loves playing jokes on us humans!

But thankfully, that cycle of upheaval is complete. I closed out the year in a week-long healing and spiritual nature retreat in Mexico integrating and celebrating the deep inner work that I committed to in 2021. It was a graduation of sorts, celebrating myself for (finally) implementing the following wise lessons I had neglected in the past.

1 | Judgement

As someone who deals with a lot of self-judgement, I have caught this side of myself dismissing my growth and personal progress as not enough. But through therapy, I’ve learned that I am not the same person I was 10, 5 or even 1 year ago. We change on a molecular level on a daily basis and we also have the power to change and grow psychologically, emotionally, spiritually and in any other area of our lives if we put in the dedicated focus and effort.

2 | Comparison

That self-judgement manifests in many ways and one old favorite is comparison. For so long, I’ve been afflicted by comparison but this year I really started to operate from a place in which once I’m down a comparison spiral, I get out of it by reminding myself that everyone is on their own unique path. And that the only person I should ever compare myself to is past versions of myself.

3 | Forgiveness

I thought I had forgiven a lover a few years prior and I had, but not entirely. In 2021, I became very familiar with the difficult road to forgiveness — by first starting with myself. It wasn’t pretty to face all the ways in which I’d been so harsh with myself for my entire life. Even though this mistreatment was done on a subconscious level, I was the one responsible for causing harm. Once I started the process of self-forgiveness, fully forgiving past lovers and others who hurt me became a possibility. It’s true what they say: once you forgive, your baggage gets lighter and your heart softens.

4 | Heartbreak

Speaking of hearts, I fell in love in 2021 with an amazing person, in a way I hadn’t in nearly 10 years and then life happened and I was heartbroken. My default reaction was to dismiss the heartbreak and then once I did the mature thing and let myself feel the crushing fullness of it, I was devastated for months after the 2-month romance came to an end. But I’m proud of how I handled that heartbreak: in the moment. Instead of numbing and dragging out the emotional process for years, I felt the avalanche of emotions and healed my heart in real-time. This allowed me to cultivate lovingkindness for that lover instead of resentment as I had in the past.

5 | Acceptance

I was so sad when I uncovered how badly I had rejected certain parts of myself. I had to grieve this as my energy coach put it and I did. Once I allowed myself to be sad over this shitty behavior I had inflicted on myself and forgave myself for it, I moved closer to self-acceptance. It’s such a paradox that we must accept the entirety of ourselves before we can really change or grow. But once you do, it’s a life changing milestone! Don’t get me wrong: I still give into my self-judgemental tendencies here and there (which I accept) but I’ve gotten so good at spotting that part of myself with gentleness rather than annoyance.

6 | Worthiness

This is a big guy! It was in 2021 that I finally started to feel worthy of my dreams and desires. That I began to practice feeling enough. For so long I dealt with insecurity and inadequacy and while those things still creep up, they no longer run the show. What has been a game changer is to incorporate reading my declarations aloud in front of a mirror and to really embody what I’m reading.

7 | Intuition

In 2021, I also started to lean into and trust my intuition more and more. I’ve always had a decent connection with it but not always trusted it enough to act on its guidance. This is a lifelong pursuit but one I’m excited to continue exploring as I deepen my practice with embracing the divine feminine power that’s inherent in me. Learning to trust my intuition more has led me to wanting to learn more and incorporate Human Design and Womb Healing.

8 | Self-love

There’s so much talk about self-love out there but what doesn’t get talked about enough is the gradual process that it takes to cultivate true self-love. For me, I needed to first forgive (myself and others), then accept (my full self and my circumstances) to then cultivate profound self-love that went far deeper than baths or massages. The biggest realization was that absence of negative self talk did not mean I had self-love, it meant my style of self-loathing was much more insidious and felt rather than heard.

9 | Letting Go

I used to think letting go was not caring but I was wrong. It’s also not pretending not to care while deep down remaining angry the thing/person didn’t work out. Letting go is a more subtle art form, it’s lovingly detaching from a person or situation while still caring but not clutching to the outcome. It’s damn hard! To really let go, we need surrendering, trusting and non-attachment.

10 | Patience

Ah patience, something that doesn’t come easy to me. 2021 showed me how to tap more into this virtue which is very connected to trusting. But obviously we must plant seeds first and water the plant (aka put in the inspired action) to eventually see the literal fruits of our labor. The year of my Saturn Return really challenged me not to give into my emotional impulses and instead, sleep on it or give the situation time before making a rash decision I might regret later.

Let me know if any of these lessons resonate with you!